Giving back to the community is how a friend and colleague described the first smile a baby provides their parent. After all the tireless nights, tears, and adjustment to a newborn, a smile has a deeper meaning for first time parents. The smile expresses connection and a milestone.
In the modern child’s life, milestones are discussed all the time. Does your baby sleep through the night? Does your baby crawl? Does your baby talk? Does your baby jump? Does your baby read? Does your baby balance his own checkbook? As parents we are inundated with too many questions. Every time I visit the pediatrician I feel like it is a pop quiz (that I didn’t know about and forgot to study).
As assessments were sent home from my daycare that my son wasn’t jumping, I worried a little. Well, his peers were jumping and even though that is a milestone for a two-year old there was a clear expectation he should be doing it several months earlier. If that was the only milestone being missed, I would have dismissed it but the growing internal voice continued to worry. Additional comments being made by his teacher were that he simply was not talking. His peers were putting together two and three word statements, and clearly as you could actually understand their words. My son didn’t speak the expected fifty words by two years of age. I won’t even discuss the biting incidents because he couldn’t express himself and was frustrated. The pediatrician mentioned Early Intervention.
In the state of New Jersey, Early Intervention is a program that will come into the home and assess your child. Based on your county will determine which office you call, however, the service remains the same. Trained professionals come into your home to determine if your child is eligible for services to meet the child’s needs in specific areas. If there is a significant delay, they will determine if the child is eligible and set up a meeting to discuss recommended services. The assessment and initial planning meeting are free. The services offered are based on a sliding scale where the cost is determined by the household income.
Each year, a re-assessment is performed and an annual meeting is held. However, Early Intervention is only available for children three years and younger. Once a child turns three years old, they age out of Early Intervention and the school district of the residing family is now responsible and that is if the child is found eligible by the district’s Child Study Team. And this is where things can become more convoluted and complicated.
Each therapist that has worked with my son has been wonderful, supportive, and challenging. By challenging, let me clarify: each therapist has taught me more about parenting and engaging with my child that I feel like I have grown in tremendous ways as a parent. It is not an emotionally easy process, but as I have had many people advocating for my child, I know that he has grown in his esteem, speech, and ability to connect with his peers.
Early Intervention is available in all fifty states, however, my experience is with the program in New Jersey. I can’t tell you how many times I would receive a text following up on my son or a listening ear to offer suggestions when a meltdown was too much or a behavior was misunderstood. Over the year, he received Speech Therapy, Developmental Intervention, Physical Therapy, and Occupational Therapy. I have been turned upside down and flipped around a few times. We have had parents verbally attack us about our child’s behavior and advise us to isolate our son from others, we have received raised eyebrows by other parents and disapproving looks over meltdowns. The awkwardness of running into a former worker at the daycare who asks if your son still doesn’t talk (and how do you respond when at the time he wasn’t talking).
I know the stress of watching progress three steps forward one day to then see behavior that makes you think the day before was an illusion. I know the stress of having a child come home with a bruise and he cannot articulate what happened. Then, wondering what if something else happened, how would I know if he needs help? I started writing this post almost two years ago, and it was painful because I was reminded of all of the setbacks (and we still get some new ones on occasion) and the frustration we felt but I am now ready to share this story.
All I wanted was for my son to talk and give back to the community. I wanted him to tell me his name, the name of his friends, what he did at daycare, and most importantly if something was wrong. Thankfully, we see improvement and know that he has been receiving incredible assistance. I can’t express my gratitude enough for the support his team offered him (and us). My experiences may not become yours, however, if you feel that something is off, if you have that disconcerting feeling growing in your gut, or if just feels as though your child is not reaching their milestones, please call Early Intervention.
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